Author Archives: Matt Roszak

EBF Collection: Checkpoints!

Hey guys, after doing my livestream yesterday, I remembered just how incredibly hard and punishing Epic Battle Fantasy 1 was. So I’ve taken everyone’s request and added a checkpoint system to the game.

It’s not a saving system – you still have to beat the game in one session. But every time you get a Game Over, you now only go back to just after the previous boss. If a player was dead when you reached the checkpoint, they will be saved as if they had 1 HP.

I’ve also made sure that you no longer have to play the game multiple times to get the different difficulty achievements, and I’ve increased the power of the TV Boy and Calamity summons, because I want to see them get used a little bit more.

EBF Collection: New Bullet Heaven Players

Hey guys, I’ve finished updating Bullet Heaven for the Epic Battle Fantasy Collection. The biggest new change is 4 new playable characters, but there’s also some new options, and some cryptic achievements have been made more fair.

You can watch me livestreaming the game here, and you can play this version of the game early on my Patreon. It’ll be out on Steam in a month or two.

EBF Collection: Cat Cafe Done

Hey guys, I’ve finished updating Cat Cafe. This game was lost for a while since it was only published on Android, and has been removed a few years ago for not being kept up to date. I’ve made it much less grindy so you can complete it in under an hour, as it’s not really a game you want to be playing on a PC for too long. Also there was a bug that deleted your upgrades after a few sessions, so I doubt it was even possible to complete the original version unless you did it all in one go!

Next up, and last one: Bullet Heaven

EBF Collection: The Kitten Game

Hey guys, I’m doing a quick update on The Kitten Game. Here’s what’s new:

• A soundtrack by Phyrnna, made up from old, unused tracks, including a couple of very silly ones.
• 12 new achievements – nothing challenging, but they should add a tiny bit of extra gameplay.
• An auto-clicker option that’s enabled by default – no more hand pain!
• Volume controls and quieter sound effects – no more ear pain!
• Copyrighted characters have been replaced with look-a-likes, as usual.

That’s all. This stuff shouldn’t take very long. I just need to carefully consider how powerful that auto-clicker is going to be, so it doesn’t change the original pace of the game too much.

Halloween was Yesterday

Hey guys, here’s this year’s pumpkins I gone and made. Ronja made the left-most one. Next year I need to remember to buy a carving kit, as I can only do so much with a knife.

Trick-or-treating was cancelled this year – not only is coronavirus skyrocketing in the UK again, the weather has been pretty stormy. We cooked pumpkin pie, cupcakes, and soup, roasted the seeds, ate cheap candy, and started playing Alien Isolation. The usual Halloween stuff for us.

The government is getting ready for another month-long lockdown to hopefully save Christmas. But unlike the previous lockdown, they’re still leaving schools and some other things open, so it’ll be curious to see if they make it in time. Either way, I’m sure there’s gonna be a huge surge in cases in January.

If you want to hear something really scary, I’ll repeat some doomer thoughts that I posted on Twitter earlier:

2020 isn’t a series of accidents, it’s a series of predictable man-made disasters that we saw coming and did nothing about. This is a sign of things to come, and 2020 could very well be the best year of this coming decade.

Coronavirus may never go way. Climate-change-fuelled natural disasters will become more frequent. More and more jobs will be automated, and young people will either be unable to find jobs, or never be able to retire as pensions are cut. The wealth gap will continue increase and the poor will be blamed for all problems.

We won’t get UBI, or a Green New Deal, or any improved public services. Three or four big companies will own all communications and media platforms, and control information access at will. Propaganda bots will pass the Turing test, and unlimited fake news will be created for free. Governments will fight this with ever increasing surveillance. The trends are pointing towards a Black Mirror dystopia.

Progress isn’t guaranteed. Keeping your rights, privileges and health isn’t guaranteed.

Happy Halloween!